CHAPTER FORTY NINE

XLIX
Mischa landed the plane at the remarkably convenient airport, and he and Rupert exited, leaving Captain Arousing aboard.

As soon as they stepped outside, they were hit with a blast of humidity. It was excruciatingly hot on the island, something which troubled Mischa greatly.

“I did not think it would be so hot in South America, Comrade,” he said. “I wish I hadn’t brought these heavy jackets.”

“Why don’t you just take them off?” asked Rupert.

“Oh no, I can’t do that.”

Rupert shook his head and started walking, but Mischa wasn’t moving. Rupert stopped too, then turned to stare at Mischa impatiently.

“Are you coming?”

“Just a minute, Comrade. I am trying to remember the title of a song I once heard.”

The two stood there for a good five minutes, until Mischa finally remembered. He smiled, then walked over to Rupert.

“Okay Comrade, we must go toward that volcano. But maybe we should wait until it stops erupting; I hear lava can be quite painful if you touch it!” cautioned Mischa.

“Nonsense!” rebuked Rupert. “A little lava never hurt anyone. Let’s go!”

Rupert and Mischa set off in the direction of the volcano. Mischa was nervous, not knowing what to expect, until he remembered his plan for getting inside. He figured now was as good a time as any to tell Rupert.

“I just realized I never told you my plan, Comrade,” said Mischa.

“Yeah, I know. I was gonna ask you, but I don’t like talking to you,” said Rupert. “Anyway, what is it?”

“Well, I am simply going to use my freeze ray to freeze the lava!” said Mischa. “That way, we won’t be burned when we try to get to the stem cell research clinic.”

“That’s a great idea, Mischa,” said Captain Arousing, who had been following them. “Speaking of great ideas, I have one of my own. It involves you, me, a mouse, and lots of whipped cream.”

Rupert’s eyebrows rose in alarm, and Mischa started backing away slowly. Evidently, they’d mistakenly assumed Captain Arousing was coming onto them. Really though, he just wanted to bake one of his famous mouse-and-whipped-cream pies.

Then use it to seduce Mischa.

“What’s wrong, fellas?” asked Captain Arousing.

Mischa and Rupert took this as a cue to run off as quickly as possible. Captain Arousing stood contemplating the situation for a moment.

“I’ll follow them. I’m like that,” he said, chasing after them.

Less than a minute later, they all reached the volcano, which was just finishing erupting. Mischa had been using his freeze ray to clear a path to the volcano, and he held it aloft as they began to scale it.

“Where’d you get a freeze ray, anyway?” asked Rupert.

“Garage sale.”

It was an arduous climb, and it took at least three hours for them to reach the peak. When they did, they peered down into the fiery abyss below. Rupert checked behind him to see that Captain Arousing was still there. He told Mischa.

After briefly considering pushing Captain Arousing in, Mischa raised his freeze ray and prepared to fire, when all of a sudden, someone grabbed him harshly by the shoulder.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” said the man, shaking Mischa roughly and causing him to drop the freeze ray.

“Ow! Get off of me, Captain Arousing. I am trying to clear a path into the volcano, because we need to visit the stem cell research clinic!” explained Mischa. “Now please, let me go. I have a very low pain threshold.”

“I ain’t Captain Arousing, you stupid little whiner-baby! You really thought the only way to get in was to freeze the lava? Just follow me; I’ll take you to the clinic. Moron.”

“But then, who are you?” inquired Rupert.

“The name’s Awesome: Dr. Awesome.”