Monday, February 18, 2008


John, Bill and Jeannine were searching frantically for Wendel’s escaped mother. John, having grown up in Denmark, was familiar with the area, so he led the way. Of course, he would’ve led the way anyway, being the leader; but, you know.

The real problem was that, as usual, they had absolutely no idea where to look. They searched through jungles; they searched through swamps; they searched through deserts – all to no avail.

Suddenly, as the three traipsed through a random parking lot, Jeannine got an idea.

“Maybe we should check her house,” she said. “For all we know, she went back there to prepare a defense or something. That’s what I would do, anyway.”

“That would be a good idea, Jeannine – if I had thought of it. Coming from you…eh. But we’ll check it out anyway, just for the hell of it. Come on!” said John, leading them back to the vile lake.

This time they all dived in and swam down to the bottom at top speed (which wasn’t very fast, since none of them were particularly good swimmers).

When they reached the bottom, Jeannine’s hunch was confirmed. Sure enough, the lights were all on in the house of Wendel’s mother. Signaling for everyone to move in, John swam to the door and opened it, without knocking. Bill and Jeannine swam in close behind.

John walked slowly forward, aware that the woman could be anywhere, ready to strike at a moment’s notice. He saw the tray of cookies from earlier still lying on the ground, uneaten.

“All right, Wendel’s mother, you eluded us for a couple of hours, but now the game is up. Show yourself and come quietly, or I’ll kill you right here,” said John.

“I’d like to see you try!” said Wendel’s mother, running out of the kitchen with a gigantic butcher knife.

She leapt upon John and the two proceeded to struggle. After a while, she gained the upper hand, stabbing John in the chest. Jeannine shrieked in terror; Bill was busy trying to catch his own shadow.

“Ha!” laughed John. “Luckily for me, I put on my mithril armor this morning. Not even the sharpest knife can pierce through it. But I’ll bet this knife can pierce through you.”

And with that, John wrested the knife from Wendel’s mother’s grip; and he sliced her head from her body in one clean blow. Thus defeated, the wench’s body vanished, fading out of existence.

“That’s odd,” said John.

“You sure showed her who’s the mailman!” said Bill.


“Well done, John! I knew you could win,” lauded Jeannine, nearly bursting with relief. “Now, I think we should be getting back up to the castle. You need to collect those soldiers for your battle…for Cyprus.”

“Ah yes! Cyprus! She sure is beautiful, isn’t she, Jeannine? I mean, wow. There’s no woman in the world I’d rather marry than Cyprus,” said John.

Jeannine looked upset and slowly started back toward the door. John remained lost in his fantasies for a few minutes, but miraculously, he did eventually notice the plight of his companion.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“Oh, it’s –”

“Wait, never mind. I don’t care. Back to the castle!”

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