The Ultimate Penultimate Chapter: CHAPTER EIGHTY ONE

LXXXI
He was wrong, however; that was the last any of them saw of Josiah Malum, and he would never get a chance to exact vengeance on anyone. He was finished.

After the battle, Magentabeard, Bjorn and Ron bade John, Bill and Mischa fond farewells.

“Yarrgh, unlike the last time we parted, this time I doubt we’ll meet again, mateys. Take care!”

They all walked off into the sunset, either to look for a new ship or for a replacement for Plank Walkin’ Pete. Probably a ship. They needed to hide on the seas from now on, because they knew that Hades would come looking for them. They were supposed to be dead, after all.

Cyprus took great joy in dismantling the titanium skeleton of Josiah bone by bone, delighting in his piteous, petulant protests. She really was the most evil person alive. The operation which had replaced his bones with metal had also somehow given Josiah the ability to continue living as long as his head remained intact, so Cyprus kept it that way – she brought it back with her, as a souvenir, and kept it in a jar.

Josiah didn’t mind, figuring that at least now he was closer to Cyprus than he would’ve been otherwise. He continued making evil plans, but without a body, or freedom, he would never be able to enact them. I’d feel sorry for him if he weren’t such an asshole.

John (very reluctantly) thanked Mischa for helping, however insignificant his part had been. There was obviously still animosity between them, what with one’s being responsible for the other’s death; but they were adults, and they put it behind them, intent on rekindling their once decent friendship.

“So where are you off to now, Mischa?” asked John.

“Oh, I will probably go back to Rome and look for Rupert. I think he is still knocked out in the Coliseum,” said Mischa. “He is probably wondering what happened.”

And Mischa was gone.

Time passed, as it usually does. John managed to get his job back somehow, despite his horrible temperament; and so did Bill, despite his terrible incompetence. The two maintained a solid friendship – after a while, Bill’s idiocy began to grow on John, and they became roommates. Bill’s mother was very amenable to the move, as she had grown quite fond of Saul, whom she found adorable.

Jeannine and John got married. If her being responsible for his resurrection weren’t enough, her sticking by his side throughout the fierce battle with Josiah convinced John that Jeannine was uncannily devoted to him, against all logic. He’d never find another woman like her. They started dating shortly after the defeat of Josiah Malum, and a year later, they were engaged.

The wedding was a glorious affair, and friends of both John and Jeannine came from all over the world. Mischa attended, with Cyprus (whom he’d inexplicably married); she’d even brought Josiah’s head along. Bill was John’s best man, and he ate the whole wedding cake; he was grounded for a month, by John, who was acting in loco parentis.

And as for me, Flapjack the Ghost? Well, let’s just say I was so bored that I decided to write a book. I give a whole new meaning to the term ghostwriter, don’t I? Oh, that’s good!

Sorry.